Mission Statement

Hate Christians? You'll love me.

"If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness."

Sunday, February 24, 2013

In Hiding...

One of the most shameful things as a Christian is to admit that you are not as in control of your life as you think you should be.

I have been struggling with a deep depression since my last couple posts. I admit freely that sometimes I become so depressed I cannot leave the house or function. But this does not make me (or you, if you know what I am saying) less of a Christian.

But a crappy Christian? Perhaps. I do become more selfish. I want only what makes me comfortable. I feel so bad, I feel like I deserve it. But my life is not all about me.

No matter how dark your days may get, never forget that life does not revolve around you. When a life is as it should be, it will be all about God.

I am going to try to write my way out of this darkness, so hopefully I will have more for you soon.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Falling Down

So like a little old lady I have fallen all over the place lately. I fell once on the sidewalk going to get my mail. And then again on the step of my neighbors whilst they watched me try to carry groceries and talk on the phone.
But humorous as these occasions may be, I am here to talk about another plunge I recently took.
Since my absence on this blog I have been deep in depression. I mean over my head. And when that happens I cease all function. I don't brush my teeth. I don't shower. I may eat nothing or I may eat everything. No matter what I do all I feel is numb.
So I am stepping out here and saying that I feel nothing. And doesn't that make for some interesting reading?
One of the worst attacks on us as humans is, I believe, the feeling that we are alone in something. And that is my point today. I want to stand up and shout that I know, I KNOW, I am not alone in this depression. I am not the only person who woke up today, or never went to sleep, and I feel completely numb. Pain is almost welcome when it means that some emotion makes it through the dense fog of depression.
So don't believe the lie. Whatever it means to you, know you are never alone.