I Love TV

Okay, so maybe my biggest sin is not just slothfulness. Maybe I am becoming my biggest sin by making my life all about my level of comfort.

Dealing with depression it is easy to focus everything on a certain level of comfort. But no matter how bad I feel Jesus has called us to go, take up our cross, and follow Him. Taking up a cross may be a not so vivid illustration in our times, but one thing is for sure - it doesn't sound like it is meant to make my life as comfortable as possible.

Which is what I am all about. I take naps. I watch TV. I have Netflix. If those things fail me, I have TV on DVD as a last resort. I am never without entertainment. My phone has games which I use to entertain myself whenever I am in a line (or just bored.)

But never in my down time do I think, gee, why don't I read that nice book I bought to learn more about the life of David? Or why don't I memorize some Scripture? (There's an app for that.) Or why don't I read the Bible on my nifty phone app when I am in line instead of cooking things in a fake diner?

I once heard from my pastor that given the choice we would probably never choose to pray, but we are to do it because doing it is obedient to God.

Life with God is not about the comforts He provides, it is about Him providing everything we need.

Be Ready

Now that everyone has their pants on per the last blog post, it is time to be ready to defend yourselves.

One of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Peter 3:15 - "but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;"

Are you always ready to defend your faith? Sometimes the challenges come from the weirdest places at the most unexpected times. When I am turned upside down by a challenge I usually stutter and don't get out any discernible answer. I test well in controlled situations, but my action reflex is not always ready for the outside.

Also, remember that our answers are to be with gentleness and reverence. We are not supposed to take out our Bible and bash people in the head, or criticize that they don't know the answers. (I am especially bad about this with newbie Christians.) We are called to be gentle and respectful. Many, and I mean many many, have stories of Christians who are neither. I do and the person asking (or baiting) may too. How many lives could be saved if we just followed Peter's advice here?

Getting Back Up

As I have written previously, I am working my way out of a deep depressive episode. I have decided one way to be productive. Let me share this advice for anyone else who may be going through the same struggles as myself.

My advice?

Wear pants.

Ah, yes. I get way more done when I am wearing jeans or any such bottom other than stretchy pants.

Oh, I love my stretchy pants. They are so forgiving and they bring me such joy. But alas, they encourage me to not move or get things done. Often I put them on intending to have a great cardiovascular movement kind of day. But generally these pants are more acquainted with the couch than any other sort of sport.

So let me put on the kind of pants that say - "I will do something with myself today! I will get something, anything, done!"

Wearing pants. You heard it hear first.

My Biggest Sin

Everyone struggles with sin. But for me I do not always have a lot to repent from each and every day. That is because of all my sins, the biggest one is that I do not do anything. And I mean anything at all. I easily spent most of yesterday on the couch watching DVDs of Friends. Maybe I spent some time tidying up. But mostly I watched Jennifer Aniston get thinner and thinner and napped.
All in all, I believe that making real mistakes is much better than making the mistake of doing nothing. How do we grow without first making a few mistakes? How do we correct what is wrong in our lives without doing anything at all?
All in all, I want to dive headfirst into my life, knowing that my sins are forgiven, not worrying about attaining perfection with everything rather than doing nothing. Not that I look for sin and such, but I wish to walk out the door everyday with a purpose rather than a routine.

Trusting God with My Sciatica

So on Sunday, I asked for prayer for a pain in my back. Before I left that day a man asked to pray for me to be healed. He put his hands on me and prayed.
If I haven't said it before I am Baptist and this made me majorly uncomfortable.
But why?
The guy asked me if I believed God could heal me. And I do. But I kinda don't.
I have no problem believing that God is control of everything. I am very Calvinist about all this. But there are still areas of my life that I do not believe God is that concerned with. But why do I think that?
I do not think God worries about healing things short of cancer and the like. I do not pray for (most) sporting events. I definitely doubt that God sprouts parking spaces on busy shopping days.
But do I get to decide what is important and what is weird? In short, not so much.
So can God heal my back pain. I believe he can. But I still struggle with whether or not I believe He will.
Any thoughts?

Huggable, Lovable

I wonder sometimes if I am not as cuddly as a Christian should be. Bible studies bring this out in me. I love discussing the Bible, theology especially, and I do love meeting people, but...
I always love the Bible, the theology, the truth more. If the truth hurts someone's feelings, I almost don't care. But feeling the way I do, I can lose out on a lot of relationships.
In the last group I co-taught, I was definitely not the one most people came to. Now people came to me, but not if they wanted comfort. I was/am not the kind to hold you, rock you, and talk to you over and over about your problems. If you have a problem, let's address a solution. Until you take action, I generally have nothing else to say.
I worry because I do not know if I am the kind of person I would bring my own troubles to. Do I belong in a Bible study as a leader, or should I just remain one of the attenders?

I'm Coming Back!

Through the prayers and love I have preciously received, I am back on my blog. I couldn't have done this without your support and God's strength.
I am still pretty up and down, but the days of wishing I would drop out of existence seem long gone reminding me there are better ways to spend my time. Netflix and also my blog.
I have been trying to get outside every day too. It inspires me and also I hear the more I move, the less I am likely to return to my dark days.
It is a good thing that God is not about religion. If my salvation depending on my quiet times or church attendance the past month, I would be dropped from the family. Aren't we lucky that God is not a God who keeps track of what we do wrong?
Amen to that.