Thursday, December 13, 2012
Do Not Fear
I learned in church this past Sunday that the command we are given most often in the Bible is to not fear. Well, I have failed over and over on this one. My biggest fear is failure. And when it comes to stepping out in faith and writing, the failure seems absolutely paralyzing. When I write I put myself out there for you to see and if you don't like it, if you reject it, you in turn reject me. And I just hate that. So I do nothing. Days go by. I dream of what I could be doing with my time. My husband buys me a new laptop to encourage me. He tells me to go for it. I use my new laptop to watch television on Amazon. Reality television. Other people living a life worth tuning in to see. Yet I am still doing nothing. So I made a commitment this week. I am going to say no to fear. As I have said many times, I know I won't always get this right. I know I will stumble. I may go days, weeks, without writing. But I will take a small step towards getting things "write" by no longer going months. Swell. I am making progress. And I want to restate my mission in writing this blog. I want to help those out there who are hurting. Those who struggle with depression. And especially those who have been hurt by the church. Because I know what it means to be burned by the most holy of people. And it does not feel good. But it does not mean that you have to be burned by God. People, Christians even, may reject you, but God will never reject you if you truly, honestly seek Him. And that is what I want to do, not just monthly, but every single day.